Damned if I Know!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

FOAD Thursday

Well Denise, you asked and I think this is the perfect time for my first FOAD Thursday. A little late in the day I know, but here we go. . . .

Local Retailers: If you are going to advertise a special, at least have the common courtesy to actually HAVE the product in the store!!! When the sale price starts on Saturday and the shelf is empty at 7:30 AM, there can only be one explanation. . . YOU FUCKED UP!! KISS MY ASS!!!

My Neighbors: Living in a Condo community means we have rules. One of those rules is to pay your monthly dues ON TIME!!! Don't ask for an extension after I saw the appliance store dropping off your new 52 in. Plasma TV. . . BITE ME!!!!!. . . And get those GAWD AWFUL decorations off of the common property. Read the fucking by-laws!!!! DICKHEAD!!!

My Suppliers: When we assign deadlines for projects, they ARE NOT a suggestion. That is when the project is due!!!! I DO NOT appreciate spending an extra 15 hours a week helping you catch up, because you were letting shit go, and then lied to me about what you had completed!! I don't give repeat business to people who fuck me over. . . And thank you SO much for making me look like a total FUCKING idiot to MY boss. . . FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!! I hope your Christmas lights short out and set your fucking Lexus on fire. . .

Local News Media: A car fire on the expressway IS NOT "BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!" It's a fucking traffic alert!!! It only affects the people who use THAT expressway, not the entire Metro area. . . We only have about 120 miles of expressway around here!! The same thing goes for snow fluries. . . IT'S SNOW!!!, not a fucking Sunami!!. . . Slow down and PAY ATTENTION!!

And finally. . . .

My Loving Family: Thank you SO much for waiting until the last FUCKING minute to make Holiday plans!! It's really no big deal for me to completely change the plans I've had in place for two months to accomodate YOUR child's schedule. We all know I have no fucking life anyway!!! And while we're at it, sending me a list of SUGGESTED gifts for your little darlings, who can't be bothered to acknowledge MY existance unless it's THEIR birthday or Christmas, takes a lot of balls!!! Sorry, I may have a cold that day. . . UP YOURS!!!!

BAH!! HUMBUG!!!

That concludes the first. . . but hardly the last FOAD Thursday from "The Motown Bitch!!"

I feel MUCH better now. . . .

Posted by Lauren :: 7:36 PM :: 7 comments