Damned if I Know!

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Moving Forward. . .

Dear Friends. . . .

I am writing this with the idea of posting it to both my Blog and P2P. Not that it really makes any difference, but I wanted to make sure I deliver the same message to both groups and don’t use any names along the way. If some parts of this don’t make sense, you can attribute it to the group you don’t belong to. . .

The last few months have been a huge learning experience for me. I have gone back into therapy and taken a long, hard look at what I really want the rest of my life to be.

My new Therapist has been great!! She had no prior experience with Transgender issues, but was willing to listen to me and study the subject. In short, Marsha has been a breath of fresh air. She has given me insights without giving advice, and has been totally supportive of how I feel. She has let me come to my own conclusions and make my own decisions. . .

Having said that, I have made a few decisions about how I plan to live my life, at least for the near future. . . .

I now understand that my feminine traits can peacefully co-exist with my male birth gender. Who cares? I have no pressing need to live as a woman.

I do not have to dress femme to express my feminine attributes. . . I will just be ME for everyone. The package doesn’t mean a damned thing. . . I have enjoyed my femme adventures over the last couple of years and wouldn’t change a thing. But. . .

I do not have to explain myself to anyone. . . This is me, take it or leave it. . . Those who choose to accept me will get to know a very unique person. . . The others. . . They lose. . .

To all of you who have been so supportive of me along the way these last couple of years. . . I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I will continue to be a member of P2P as long as I’m welcome. . . I may not post much, but those who know me best understand why I made these choices.

As for my blog. . . It will stay the same for now, but I may slowly migrate to a new home. You can rest assured that wherever I end up, I’ll still be the Motown Bitch. . .

In either case. . . My door is always open, the coffee and tea are always hot, and the love is ever-present. . . HUGGSS!! are ALWAYS free and liberally applied. . .

I love you all. . .

Lauren

Posted by Lauren :: 9:07 PM :: 6 comments

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Blown Away

I am so thrilled at all of the wonderful e-mails, e-cards, comments and posts I have had today. What a great bunch of bloggers I know. Thank you all for making my birthday so special!!!

For all you NASCAR fans, don't forget that today is Clance McClannahan's birthday too. Pop over to the Church and wish her a great day!! http://churchofthegreatoval.blogspot.com/

I'm working on another post, but I've been a bit distracted the last few days.

Thank you all again!!!

Posted by Lauren :: 3:09 PM :: 5 comments

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Who Monitors This Stuff??

I ran across this little gem earlier today. I have to wonder who was watching the iguana closely enough to figure it out. . . I don't know whether to laugh my ass off or feel sorry for the little guy. . . .

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070125/od_nm/iguana_erection_dc_1

I'll be back this weekend to post some news. . .

Laterz!!!

Posted by Lauren :: 7:49 PM :: 10 comments

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Friday, January 19, 2007

Kid's Shows

I'm not sure why (other than the 3 glasses of wine I've had tonight), but I was thinking about some of the more memorable kid's shows from MY childhood (yes, I was one once!!!), through the early days of my kids.

Here, dear friends, is my (somewhat) twisted view of what these shows were REALLY about:

Captain Kangaroo

Here's a slightly chubby, middle age guy with a pageboy hairut and mustache, who hangs out with a farmer, a rabbit and a moose. . . I'm thinkin' there was some pretty wierd shit goin' on back stage. . . No wonder I would rather just forget my childhood. . .

Howdy Doody

Ol' Buffalo Bob hangin' with Howdy, whose strings are forever being yanked by bad jokes. Worse, they made the poor little wooden head hawk sugar-coated breakfast cereals and other useless crap. . . Then there's Clarabelle the Clown, Princess Winter-Spring-Summer-Fall and a few others just to add to the wierdness. Great character-building stuff that was . . . . Tell me drugs weren't popular in the 50s. . . .

Romper Room

I'm thinkin' Miss Nancy had another agenda going on behind the scenes. Nobody is that sweet. . . Not even me LOL!!

The Mickey Mouse Club

Let's face it, Ol' Walt was a perv. . . He had a thing for Annette, or maybe Tommy. . . Or both. . .

Bozo the Clown

This was a franchise deal with a different Bozo in every major city. . . Not unlike Congress. . . My fondest memory of our local Bozo (this was a live broadcast in the late 60s) was a wide shot of the studio audience with a little boy about 6, flipping off the camera. Bozo squatted down beside the little darling and said: "That's a Bozo No-No". . . To which the kid replied. . . "Climb it clownie". . . . Priceless!!

Soupy Sales

Based in Motown and syndicated around the country, the Soupster was the master of the double entandre. His show was as much for adults as the kids. Some of the outtakes I've seen from his show are priceless.

I had the good fortune to meet him in the mid-90s when he was doing a comedy club tour. His stage show was a masterpiece. I cried when I heard he had passed away.

H.R. Pufnstuf

I don't think it's any secret what Ol' H.R. was puffin. . . . 'Nuff said???

Mr. Rogers

Sorry, I'm not even goin' there. . . I think Eddie Murphy nailed it on SNL. . .

PeeWee's Playhouse

Let's see. . . Ol' PeeWee gets nailed by the cops for "skinin' the lizzard" in a porno theater. . . What more do we need to know??

Teletubbies

I'm pretty sure those things on the tops of their heads were handles, so you could throw them far far away from your children. . .

Barney and Friends

Don't even get me started on what was wrong with THAT picture. . .

Feel free to add any of your favorites. I'm sure I forgot a few. . .

Plus, I know there were hundreds of local kids’ shows in other major markets. Among them here:

Mr. Hotdog (yes, I CAN prove it!!!), Captain Muddy (a tug boat captain on the Detroit River), Johnny Ginger (a bellhop, who hosted some of the worst cartoons ever seen) and Al E. Kat & Panzy (really bad puppets with seemingly no script or other direction). . . They weren't good at "winging it". . .

Enjoy your weekend!!!

HUGGSS!!

Posted by Lauren :: 8:41 PM :: 8 comments

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Spiders and More Stuff About Me

HI all!!!. . . I've been a very bad girl, letting so much time go between posts. It's been a little crazy the last week or so, but that's no excuse.

The link below will take you to Canada's version of You Tube. I found this particular clip very interesting, since I've never really seen any medical studies on spiders before today. It gets off to a bit of a slow start, but I think you'll find it fascinating.

http://www.filecabi.net/video/spiders-drugs.html

In other news from the Motown Bitch. . .

I mentioned a couple of posts back that I have been seeing a new Psych and we've been talking about how to best let Lauren be a part of my everyday life, despite the fact I'll never be able to fully transition. Marsha (previously referred to as Dr. M) has been working with me to let Lauren become the dominant influence in how I live my everyday life. I've purposely kept my public life (work, family etc.) and my true self segregated, causing some very confused feelings and contributing to my depression.

The first major step was to get my sorry ass out of this house for something more than work and grocery shopping. Actually socialize a little, but let Lauren run the show. It's been much easier than I thought it would be. My first assignment was to get back in touch with someone I haven't seen in a while. My dear friend Kat and I have had a couple of great lunches and talk/e-mail almost daily. We had been out of touch for over two years. I didn't realize how much I've missed her. She is a friend in every sense of the word. We've known each other for almost 20 years and have been through some very trying times together. More about that another time. . . .

The second assignment was to get together with someone I know casually, but have never socialized with. Enter MB. . . who works for a local business I frequent and has the most wonderful personality. We met shortly after I moved here and have had some great chats. I suggested a casual meeting and I now have a great new friend!! More about that another time too. . .

Through all of this, Lauren has been in control. Kat knows about Lauren and I have explained my assignment. She addresses me as Lauren and is in full support, because she now sees my real personality, not the image I lived so miserably for years. MB only knows (so far) that I am a very gentle person who enjoys things more typical of a woman. I was completely blown away when I found out MB has two gay, adult children who are totally accepted for who they are by the entire family.

I'll be seeing Marsha again next week. I've e-mailed her a couple of progress reports, but I'm really looking forward to talking with her. It's been almost a month since my last appointment.

I feel pretty damned good right now. . . I'm liking this feeling!!! But, don't think for one moment that my bitchy side is going away. That just wouldn't be me LOL!!

Many thanks to those of you who helped get me to this point. My Blogger friends have been the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. You know who you are.

And this parting thought from scull jockey Sidney Friedman, one of my favorite characters from MASH:

"Pull down your pants and slide on the ice". . .

Love Y'all!!!

HUGGSS!!

Posted by Lauren :: 7:27 PM :: 8 comments

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