This Blog Is Officially CLOSED. . .

Friday, June 30, 2006

Look Mom. . . No Wires!!!!!

At last!!! I'm finally wireless!!!! My new ISP was activated today and I can tell ComCrap where to shove their cable modem LOL!!

The access speeds are blazing fast compared to ComCrap, since I don't have to share bandwidth with the entire neighborhood and I get a connection every time. Plus, it's 30% cheaper than ComCrap. . . BONUS!!!

The switch was not without a headache or two, since the first wireless card was bad right out of the box. . . Beware of products from Hawking Technologies. . . It wasn't worth saving $10. . .

I'm also on call at work this weekend in case anything takes a shit. . . Lovely!!! So much for my 4-day weekend. . . Guess I'll get a few things done on Monday, since I'll be alone in the office. . .

Would someone please take the "Kick Me" sign off my back???? LOL!!!

Hope y'all have a great weekend!!!


Posted by Lauren :: 8:53 PM :: 4 comments

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Working Sunday and Name Games

Well, the two hours I was supposed to work today turned into 4 1/2. Most of it standing out in the sun on concrete. . . I'm sunburned and my feet are killing me. My reward? A really bad Mexican buffet. Payment? HAH!! I'm salaried. . . "Thank you for helping out and don't be late tomorrow morning. . . . GRRRRR!!!. . . I managed to see the last 8 laps of the NASCAR race at Sonoma. . . I hated seeing that little shithead in the 24 car win. . . BOO!!!! HISS!!!! I was hoping Texas Terry could get the pass done, but no. . .

Mr. B Y Gun said something in his comment to my last entry that gave me a great idea for a blog game. . .

One of our local radio DJs has a standard question he asks any time he does an interview with a celebrity. It's really simple and the results can be hilarious (or not). He maintains that everyone has a porn star name. Here's how it works:

Take the name of your first childhood pet and the name of the street you grew up on as a child. That is your porn star name. . . . . I'll go first. . .

My porn star name is: Tippy Lahring

Some of you who had multiple pets and moved one or more times can enter as many as you want.

I'm looking forward to your entries!!!

Time to get ready for our City's Freedom Festival Fireworks show. I can watch it from my patio since it's just 3 blocks away. . . The big Motown Fireworks is this Wednesday night. One of the biggest shows in the country. Since over 1 million people go downtown for that event, I watch it on TV. . . No way you'll get me in a crowd that big. . .

HUGGSS!!

UPDATE: The fireworks display was outstanding for a small community like ours (pop. 11,000 ) although there was a 5 minute gap in the middle, apparently due to technical problems. Awesome finish!!! The shells were literally going off over our heads. . .

Hope y'all have a great night!!!
Posted by Lauren :: 7:46 PM :: 18 comments

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Too Perfect!!!

I had to share this, because it just put the icing on the cupcake for my week. . .

It's a beautiful night here in Motown, a nice breeze blowing and temps easing back into the upper 60s. I decided to end my evening with a glass of Chardonnay and one last smoke for the night, sitting on the patio.

I no sooner settle into my chair, light my smoke and have a nice sip of Vino, when the freakin' sprinkler system comes to life and blocks my path back to the door LOL!!! It's only about 30 feet, but with 3 sprinklers going there's no way I'm getting back inside dry. . . I was soaked by the time I made it to the door. . .

Does this mean I can skip my weekly bath??? Didn't think so. . .

*WET* HUGGSS!!



Posted by Lauren :: 12:19 AM :: 7 comments

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Jobbie Nooner

Today marks the beginning of one of the biggest illegal lake parties of the year on Michigan's Lake St. Clair. The Jobbie Nooner http://nickscape.net/jobbienooner/ will attract 10s of thousands of partiers on and around Gull Island. You can literally walk from boat to boat and never get your feet, or your thong bikini (get that thought OUT of your head Apos!!!) wet.

This thing started about 10 years ago as a group of friends getting together to skip a day of work/school/whatever and spend the day on the water. The County Sheriff and Coast Guard estimate that they'll make several dozen arrests for Drunk Driving and disorderly conduct. Boaters were already beginning to gather at the island before dawn today. . .

And before you ask. . . I have NO idea where the name came from. . . I can only say that these people would give our old Friday night at Sooner's Bar & Grille a run for the money. It sure makes the local news stations happy. The've been talking about it all week. . .

Party on!!!!

Congrats also to Babs http://howtogoinsane.blogspot.com/ . She is Denise's Friday Fabulous Female of the week http://moodswingcreations.com/blog/. I can't think of a more deserving lady!!!!

DAMN!!! Time to get ready for work. . . . Or maybe go join the drunken fun at the Jobbie Nooner. . . NAH!!

HUGGSS!!


Posted by Lauren :: 6:13 AM :: 7 comments

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Thursday, June 22, 2006

COMCRAP. . . . .

. . . Is being given the BOOT from the House of Lauren. . .

I got a call today from a ComCrap Rep (who barely spoke English) telling me that I have been billed the wrong rate for the last 2 years. My rate will go up by 50% starting next month. . .

EXCUSE ME????????. . . Sixty FUCKING bucks a month for basic high-speed (their description, not mine!!!) internet??? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO!!!!!! $60/month for shitty service, NO tech support and speeds that dial-up users would laugh at??? NFW Bitch!!!!!! (translation upon request). Have a nice day!!!

By this time next week, I'll be on enhanced wireless DSL for $18/month, fixed cost for one year. That rate hasn't changed since 2003 from AT&T/YAHOO!

The cable TV/Internet regs here in MI are so fucked up, that ComCrap and other cable providers have a market monopoly in their service area. I couldn't sign with WOW, Barden or Brighthouse if I wanted to. . . The infrastructure belongs to ComCrap. . . But, they don't control the phone lines. . .

RANT # 2

The Silver Bullet is home, but not fixed. Only slight improvement in the steering after 3 days in the shop. It's going back next week after I told the Service Manager what I thought of his Technican. The car was never road tested, since I reset the trip odometer when I dropped it off and it recorded only 3/10 of a mile total for three days. The SM drove the car with me and agreed it wasn't fixed. MORONS!!!

Yes, I'm in a VERY pissy mood tonight. . .

With my luck today, my Ex will call any minute now. . .LOL!!!

HUGGSS!!


Posted by Lauren :: 9:15 PM :: 6 comments

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

On The Disabled List

No, not me silly. . . But the Laurenmobile AKA: "Silver Bullet" is resting peacefully in her semi-private room at the Dealership tonight. This, after she mysteriously developed a noticable lack of connection between the steering wheel and the tires. . . Of course my razor-sharp engineering mind immediately reached the conclusion that something was seriously wrong. . . I'm management material I tell ya!!!

So. . . . I'm in a rental (at the Dealer's expense YAY!!!) tonight. This would normally mean some "rode-hard-&-put-up-wet" econobox, but no. . . My lease calls for a replacement vehicle of "equal or greater value." Sooooo. . . I'm driving a 5000 lb. luxo-barge sedan that can only be described as a; "Leather couch on wheels with windows." The back seat is not only big enough to get laid, but you could serve a catered breakfast for four the next morning!! I'm dead serious here. . . The demographic target for this car is Bob Hope and George Burns. Yes, they are both dead. . . That was my point!!!

This car is so devoid of feeling and personality, I thought I was driving my Ex for a moment. . . This car is for people who don't want to know they are driving, which explains why you see them doing 30 mph in the fast lane on I75 at rush hour. . . People who buy this car are essentially dead. . . The audio system can only be appreaciated by someone with hearing aids in both ears. . . with dead batteries. . . And the AC system has two settings. . . "Walk-In Freezer" and "Blast Furnace". . .

You've been a great audience. . . . Try the Veal Cutlet. . . And please tip your waitress. . . She prefers horizontal. . . I'll be here all week!!!! Goodnight Everbody!!!

Damn!!! I needed that. . . The last few weeks have been non-stop work, but there's a 4-day weekend coming up for Independence Day. . . YEE FREAKIN' HAWWWWWW!!! That is, after I work this coming Sunday. . . something I just found out today. It would have to fall on the weekend NASCAR runs on a road course!!! My second favorite race of the year DAMN!!

The rental car just seemed like the icing on the cake. Don't get me wrong, it's a very nice car, it's just SO. . . NOT. . . LAUREN!!!!

Hope Y'all had a great day!!!

HUGGSS!!


Posted by Lauren :: 8:51 PM :: 6 comments

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Monday, June 19, 2006

Reminder - A Girl Like Me

Since several people asked to be reminded:

Lifetime Network will air; "A Girl Like Me" tonight at 9:00 PM EDT.

I hope you can take a little time out to watch it. The "rough cut" I saw earlier this year was very moving. I saw a lot of me in young Gwen. . .

Love y'all!!

HUGGSS!!

Posted by Lauren :: 5:43 PM :: 3 comments

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

Sun Dance

OK boys and girls, it is time to act!! As your unofficial Hostess for today's race at MIS, I beg you to join me in a ritual Sun Dance. The weather nerds are predicting rain and/or thunderstorms moving into the Brooklyn, MI area by about 3 PM. . .

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE Send the rain to Dallas where they actually NEED IT!!!! Let it rain on West "BY GAWD" TX. . . Let it rain at LeMans where they actually have rain tires!!!! Let it rain ANYWHERE BUT BROOKLYN!!!!!!

Don't make me do a naked sun dance in my front yard!!! I'm out of bail money!!!!

Stupid weather nerds!!!!!

Posted by Lauren :: 8:52 AM :: 3 comments

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

Coifed Kitty

As I write this, CC is spending the afternoon at the local Kitty Salon. I decided to enlist the assistance of a Pro in dealing with his shedding. I swear that cat should be bald, based on the amount of hair I brush out of the couch and his favorite chair every week. Hopefully this will put an end to the worst of it. He's getting the full package (minus the nail trim, since he's declawed on all four paws) and will come home bathed and trimmed up. I'm sure I'll have a little snooty boy to live with for a few days.

I sat the pet taxi down on the floor and he walked right in, like it was no big deal. Everything was fine until I started the car. . . . There were noises coming out of him that would have a casual passerby thinking I was skinning him alive LOL!! A couple in the car next to me at a light could hear him carrying on. . . Poor baby!! He hardly made a sound during the 30 minute drive when I brought him home originally. . .

It's freakin' HOT here today!!! 93* the last time I checked and it could get to 97 or 98. Very unusual for Michigan in June. We normally don't see 90s until mid-July. This is the second day over 90 this month. . . So much for having dinner on the patio tonight. . . Maybe I'll wait and go out to sit after 11 PM. . . I love having a glass of wine on the patio late at night. It's so quiet and the breeze helps to make me sleepy. . . I sat out there last night until 12:30.

I hope y'all are having a great weekend. . . I need to get back to my housework. . . .

HUGGSS!!

But Wait. . . There's More. . . .

Congrats to Johnny Benson on his first win in the Craftsman Truck Series!!! Great job by my boy Mark Martin too, finishing second. . . It's nice to see two old guys whip the rookies butts!


UPDATE: OK, I've created a monster!!! CC thinks he's the hot stuff now, all primped and brushed. The Groomer said he was a perfect little gentleman (until the bath part LOL!!) and purred most of the time she was working on him. He's been strutting around here since we got home. I have to admit, he looks pretty good. He definately smells better LOL!!! He'll be going back in September for his next appointment. . . Is he spoiled or what???







Posted by Lauren :: 4:29 PM :: 4 comments

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

A Girl Like Me

A very special friend of mine sent me the link below. I was among a select audience from our local TG community who saw a shortened "rough cut" version of this movie a few months ago. I can honestly say, this was the most accurate portayal of a Transgendered person's life I've ever seen.

"A Girl Like Me" will air this coming Monday, June 19, at 9 PM on the Lifetime Network.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/movies/originals/agirllikeme.php

I know this is a very difficult topic for many, but I hope you'll take the time to watch. I'm anxious to see what the final version looks like myself.

Peace and Love to All. . .

HUGGSS!!


Posted by Lauren :: 10:40 PM :: 10 comments

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I AM NOT. . .

A happy girl right now. . .

Earlier tonight I forked over nearly $200 to replace my cell phone. This was NOT my choice. The phone had become so unreliable that it wouldn't hold a charge for more than a few hours. I just replaced the battery a month ago for $30.

I plead my case to the people at the phone store, but; "You aren't eligible for a new phone until January 16, 2007." Since this is the only phone I have, I didn't have much choice. And since I work in a high security job, I can't have a camera phone, narrowing my choices even further.

At least I was able to charge the tab to my cellular account, so I do have some leverage when I call the corporate office tomorrow. Hopefully, they will do something for me and at least reduce the bill. I've been with this provider for almost 10 years, that should count for something. Not to mention the dozens of new customers I've sent them over those years. . .

I won't name the provider (YET), but I will warn you to NEVER buy a Kyocera phone. This was the third bad one in two years. They eat batteries and buttons mysteriously stop working. They also lock up to the point you have to remove the battery to reboot. . .

And I was going to write something pleasent tonight. . .

End of rant!


Posted by Lauren :: 9:56 PM :: 4 comments

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Exclusive Interview!!!!

This appeared in today's Detroit Free Press. I thought I'd share with y'all. Enjoy!


MITCH ALBOM: Baby talk? Listen, I've got the scoop


Before I share my "exclusive" interview with Brad and Angelina's baby, let's talk price. I want $4 million. Same as they reportedly got for the photos. Anybody can point and shoot a camera. It takes a special person to speak Goo Goo.

So we're agreed? And cash, no checks.

Meanwhile, here's a little sample from my Blockbuster Scoop of the Year:

"So, little Shiloh, let me be the first to verbally welcome you to the world. How does it feel to be the most famous infant since Jesus?"

"Are you my dad?"

"Uh, no. He's the guy over there by the mirror, making sure his T-shirt is tight enough."

"Are you my mom?"

"Uh, no. She's the one in the low-cut tank top, making sure nobody photographs her below the chest."

"Who are all those other people?"

"Just people who love you."

"Aunts? Uncles? Grandparents?"

"Agents, managers, security guards."

"Where am I?"

"Namibia."

"Wow. I'm African."

"Uh, not exactly. Your mother's from L.A. and your father's from Oklahoma."

"So why am I in Namibia?"

"Your parents felt it was safer."

"Am I in trouble? I just got here!"

So what's in a name?

"Let's shift gears. Can you tell us, Shiloh, do you plan to be an actress?"

"Will they give me milk?"

"I suppose."

"Then I'll be whatever you want."

"Who do you think you look like, your mom or your dad?"

"Um, which is which, again?"

"Those two. Standing behind the microphones. The one with the short hair is your father."

"What's his name?"

"Brad Pitt."

"Cool. So I'm Shiloh Pitt?"

"Well, no, you're Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt."

"You're joking."

"No. Your mother's last name is Jolie -- even though her father's last name is Voight -- and so your last name is a hyphenate."

"Why didn't they pick one name when they got married?"

"Um ... they're not married."

"Oh, GREAT! Like going to school wasn't gonna be hard enough!"

The fine art of acting

"Now, tell us, Shiloh--"

"What does Shiloh mean?"

"It's Hebrew."

"I'm Jewish AND African?"

"No. Your parents liked the name. It means peaceful one. Or messiah."

"Great. No pressure there."

"How do you like the fuss over you?"

"Yeah. All these people are taking my picture. Why is that?"

"Because mom and dad are actors."

"What do actors do?"

"Fake emotions to move people."

"Big deal. I got that down already. Watch. WAAAHHHHHHH! See. They give me milk just like that."

"Impressive."

"Besides, I pretty much look like every other baby. What's the big deal about me? I haven't even chewed anything yet."

"You're famous."

"What's famous?"

"It's what we all want to be!"

"Hmm. If you say so. Right now, I want to be something else."

"What's that?"

"Dry. Do you smell something? Ohmigod. Is that me? Yyucck ..."

"And that wraps up our exclusive interview with Shiloh, the most important baby on the planet. Thank you, baby, for your time."

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's that?

"Can I go back?"

"I'm afraid not."

"In that case ... WAHHHHH!"

Posted by Lauren :: 9:39 AM :: 14 comments

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

She's Back and I'm In Heaven!!!

Allia and I have reconnected after far too many months apart. It's a long story and I'm too tired to write it tonight, but I am so very happy right now.

Now, if I could just stop crying. . .


Posted by Lauren :: 11:02 PM :: 9 comments

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Sunday, June 04, 2006

The House of Lauren and Other Schtuff. . .

So it's the last day of my vacation and I dread going back to work tomorrow. . . Oh well, until I hit the lotto. . . yeah right!!!


The bedroom is mostly done. I still need a few accessories and little stuff, but I'm already WAY over budget. The rest will have to wait for a few weeks. I did find a comforter set at Home Goods I really like and it's only $120.00. That will be the next purchase.

I somehow managed to screw up my left foot, so my trip to the Motor City Pride festival didn't happen today. Just as well, since I'm broke. My Dr. says I strained the Achilles Tendon, so walking is pretty painful. I have NO idea what I did. . . I went to the store long enough yesterday to get a few things I was out of and that's it.

So here's the room as it stands now. My shitty digital camera doesn't take great pics, but you'll get the general idea.

















The walls are actually an off white or sandstone colour, the comforter is celery. The lamps I moved in from the living room, since the ones I bought for the bedroom actually work better out there. . . .
















I'm still not completly happy with the placement of the chest, but I want to leave space in the corner for a chair.

















The dresser is a perfect fit here. How's that for luck? The hallway on the right leads back to my (very BADLY designed) walk-in closet behind the closed door and a private bathroom directly behind the Dresser. The family bathroom is directly across the hall from the bedroom.















My living room. The antique school desk in the background is actually a reproduction I bought in the mid-70s. The solid oak dining table in the foreground was originally purchased in 1882 by my Great Grandfather. I found it in my Grandmother's basement in 1975 after she passed away. It was in horrible condition, with the finish partially stripped. Many months of work later. . . The chairs I bought at K-Mart about 10 years ago. The originals had been lost.
















The dining room from a different angle. The baker's rack is also a reproduction I found in a little craft mall a few years ago.

















The kitchen. . . My favorite room in the house. The countertop microwave will be going bye bye soon when I get a built-in to go above the stove. I don't care for electric stoves, but the cabinets were already in when I bought the place and it would have cost over $1500.00 to run a gas line to the opening. On the other side of the fridge is a small utility room that houses the furnace and water heater. I have the back wall shelved to use a pantry.

And where was my Master while all this work was going on?? You guessed it. . . . .
















I have never seen a cat that liked to sleep on their back. CC sleeps like this all the time.


Hope you enjoyed the tour. . .

Time to start dinner. . . .

HUGGSS!!

But wait. . . .


That comotion you hear is Babs going nuts in Dallas. . . Matt Kenseth just won the Dover race!!!!! WAY TO GO MATT!!!!!!!!!! Great job by Jimmy Johnson too, coming back from 2 laps down to finish 5th. . .








Posted by Lauren :: 3:48 PM :: 10 comments

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