Damned if I Know!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I Have No Right To Do This. . . .

But I would like some input from my friends here at blogspot about an upcoming situation. . . .

I have been invited to a dinner/dance put on by one of the local Transgender groups. This event is March 11. I was invited last year and made it as far as the parking lot before caving in to my fear and going home.

A member of the group I have never met has been begging me to try again. I know she is only trying to help, but I don't think I can go through with it and I've told her so. As much as I would love to go, I can't get this fear out of my mind.

Several people I used to be close to have written me off as a lost cause. I really can't blame them, because I know deep down it's ME and nothing else holding me back. How long would you wait for someone to get off their ass??

I used to love going out. I've bored people to tears with my stories from my week in Toronto. I know that 90% of my problem is in my own head. . . Why can't I just give this a chance? Why can't I "just do it" and get myself back out in the world???

This person has gone out of her way to try and help me and I feel like shit because I can't do this one simple thing. What the FUCK is wrong with me???
Posted by Lauren :: 8:31 PM :: 11 comments